Do you live in your head too? The dream you had the night before keeps playing throughout the day. Your escape from reality, your coping mechanism, your way of life.
It’s like a T.V. you can’t turn off, a never-ending movie, and you’re the star. Sometimes you can control the conversation, sometimes it takes over on its own. You never know what guest star is going to decide to take a role, and how that role will make an impact.
Sometimes there’s crossover. If someone questions your laughter, your tears, your anger… It’s not always fantasy. It’s like your demons put on a disguise, running amok in your brain, seeing what havoc they can create, what pot they can stir.
Your dream catcher might catch some nightmares, but it doesn’t catch the borderline. The dreams that really should terrify you to the core force you to be numb instead.
It’s amazing the conversations inside your head don’t surface through the loudness of your mouth. Some may catch you talking to yourself, but it’s mostly an occasional mumble.
Creativity comes from the mind. Would I have the creativity I do if I didn’t live inside my head?
Is this normal? Not that I’m aware of. But does this make me who I am? Would I be the same person without my endless dreams, my demons running wild?
Waking up to the weirdness, knowing that when it turns weird, it must be time to get out of bed. Attempt to control but still far from reach.
Even in meditation, you close your eyes and are supposed to focus on one thing, while your mind “dreams” of the meditation trying to focus on the one thing.
You look stoic, surrounded by others. Not very talkative in the outside world. But inside your head, you’re already having an engaging conversation, whether or not you want to.
When the depression first surfaced and buried itself deep inside me, my mind decided to swallow me whole and created a home for me, in which I’m never allowed to leave.
Dare we try to escape our minds? Or shall we accept the home inside our heads?