Home?

When people think of home, they think in terms of the physical house that they live in. But home isn’t just the physical environment, it’s the emotional, spiritual and mental environment too.

Home can be a state of mind. Where are you at in your life? Do you feel like you are home?

I recently moved, and my friends that help me took a photo of the packed truck and van, which we got all of my things (including furniture I was bringing) in one trip.

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My friend got me to stand near the garage and “say goodbye.” She said she wanted me to give the house the finger.

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To those that know me and how my mother and I barely get along, they may automatically assume I am giving her the finger. In a way I am. But I look at it this way, I am fingering all the negative, bad vibes and memories that have happened at that house. It was never really my home.

I love my mom. But I do not like her. I don’t have to. We don’t have a good relationship. But I still love her. She thought she was doing her best to raise me and that’s okay. In my eyes, it wasn’t what was good for me, and that’s okay.

Now that I am in a new physical place, I am in a new emotional, mental and spiritual place as well. I am much more in my comfort. I am now home.

This is better for my relationship with myself and with those around me, especially my mother. We can better respect each others’ boundaries and maybe in future, better understand each other. Maybe then I may begin to like her.

You have to take care of yourself first, otherwise it becomes harder to take care of others. You can end up burning out because you haven’t taken the time to nurture yourself.

I’m still unpacking and getting settled in my new home. But it is already starting to feel like me. Good things take time, patience and care.

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In order to really feel, “at home,” with yourself, you need to give yourself some loving kindness, some self-compassion.

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Give yourself some kind words to place upon your heart, at hopes that one day, when you need them most, when your heart breaks, that the words will fall in and make their home.

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